Chained, R.

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As deep down as possible. He buried his emotions diving into it as deeply as. Into the deep sea. Taking every new day, every new night in. Clouds. The passage of time. Breathing in, breathing out. Diving in again, making his feelings for her his own, burying them deep down below the earth’s darkest layers this time. Below the sea. Remain strong. He must remain strong. Untouchable. Wounds, deep. Scars, invisible. ‘It’s alright. If I don’t think about her, my feelings will go away. She will become a faded memory’. A lie, he tries to convince himself of. But, he knows, dreams of it. Sweats. In repetition. Every day, she is transformed a little more into a lingering ghost in his subconscious. A spectre. Moving below his level of consciousness, she has transmuted into an unattainable ideal. A symbol of the feminine archetype for him. Not knowing this, he walks around without seeing, trapped in the veils of his own blindness. His heart, chained to her. He can’t shake it, shake her off. So, he pushes it further down. Deeper. Deep down as possible. To the earth’s core.

Enlight198

photo: Ryan Muirhead.

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Mona’s maritime diary: 14

3/11/2016. 17:05 hrs. Light cloud, 7 degrees Celsius, Southeasterly wind (6 miles per hour)

Twilight. Light reflections on water surface. Million stars, spark of life. Rebellious glitters. Pearls. I am standing on the edge of the shore, almost touching the waters. Reaching towards darkness. Waiting for me. The waves beat their drums in a rhythmic chanting… Calling back the forgotten, lost sounds of the sea. Darker seashells. Our walks on the golden sand beach last summer, hand in hand; traces of feeling washed out by the tide.

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Mona’s maritime diary: 8

26/10/2016, 17:22 hrs. Light cloud, 15 degrees Celsius, light Southeasterly breeze (8 miles per hour)

The river is quiet, silent at dusk. It’s surface, silky. A few whispering waves here and there… The more I watch it, the more I see it changing… A lonesome man is walking on the beach. Looking for something. Some familiar object? Shells he will take home to his wife and kids? You asked me once ‘Where is home for you?’. My home is in me, inside me, I am home anywhere I go. This river, the skies, the smell of the ocean, the sound of seagulls…

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Mona’s maritime diary: 4

20/10/2016, 16:57 hrs. Sunny intervals, 15 degrees Celsius, Northern light breeze (9 miles per hour)

Time by the river goes by slowly. I wait for the vessel to dock, record the current weather conditions, the wind force, the probable ship’s velocity. Like a captain would. I imagine a ship’s cargo containing human tears, love strings of meaning… Again, I am reminded of my long-distance attachment to you.

Across the ocean I stand, I wait. I wait for a sea-pearl-song.

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Mona’s maritime diary: 3

19/10/2016, 15:37 hrs. Sunny intervals, 14 degrees Celsius, Northeasterly breeze (12 miles per hour)

The calm hour at the shore. Sounds of kids playing on skateboards after school reverberate, form small waves on the surface of the river. The tide is high. No separation between the skies and the water; they’ve merged into a grey mass unfolding in front of me. You. Me. The separation line between us. That minimal, significant difference.

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Copyright Mina Ray 2016

Reading ‘Reveries about Language’…

Listen to me reading an extract from my trilingual poem ‘Reveries about Language’ in this podcast of Kings College London’s radio show on “Translation” (from 17:30 minutes of the podcast).

You can read the poem in full in each of the three languages (English, French, Croatian):

https://reveriesofasolitarygazelle.com/poems-in-english/reveries-about-language/

https://reveriesofasolitarygazelle.com/poemes-en-francais/reveries-autour-de-la-langue/

https://reveriesofasolitarygazelle.com/pjesme-na-hrvatskom/sanjarenje-o-jeziku/

Thank you for listening!

Saudade

Like
the vine
that misses
the strength
of its roots,
its grapes
maturing
slowly
under
the sun,

the sailing
ship
that awaits the
wind,
before speeding
towards
an unknown
destination,
not yet
discovered,

the sound
that completes
the silent image,
moving
particules
of air, sonic
waves,
creating
meaning,

the diacritic
sign
that needs its
place
over the letters
s, z, or
c,
to cross over
to the position
above the
line,

Closing
the circle
of life,

He        misses her